Dallas vs. Miami

MIAMI: You think its easy. Lemme know how yor white-ass, racist-style deals with the shithole I'm in right now. Middle o'nowhere. You'd get your ass beat. About to get mine. But watch me fight, these racist rednecks. Watch me. You fucking bitch.

Motherfucker just told me a crazy story. Now I know how to pack a 9 millimeter. He explained it all in detail.

Maybe you get that from your adventures. But I certainly get it from mine. Thank God they don't want to fight me. They like me.

This redneck bartender fucking loves me -- I love her too. So go fuck yourself.

Now I'm in the bathroom alone. I jus needa psss, ya bish, ya bish.

But you're right. Gonna watch my back now, nonetheless.

Lemme not become a bitch.

But how about this: lemme jus taka psss, ya bsh.

Might still fight though. Would you?

No, 'cause you're a bitch.

Bartender keeps coming by me. Dudes are getting mad.

I will punch these retarded men.

DALLAS: You're bombed out of your head. Go home.

MIAMI: I will punch them very soon.

You have no idea where I am.

DALLAS: Recognize you are wasted. Get an uber and go home now.

MIAMI: Watch my punch, ya bish.

Angling right now. These guys deserve it. I might get arrested. Fuck it. And fuck you. You don't know shit. Throwing my phone after this.

DALLAS: You're a drunken fool. Go home before you fuck your life up.

MIAMI: Won that fight, kinda. Woman gave me her number anyway under the bar. Dude hit my head. Not happy about that. I hit him good too, but my hand hurts. In the Uber now.

DALLAS: You're a total fuckup and a moron.

MIAMI: Yeah, as if you know. Never been in an actual fight in your life. GO FUCK YOURSELF

DALLAS: You will read this when you are sober and regret all of this. Clean up your life bro. You are a fucking drunk and a nobody. A zero.

MIAMI: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you, going to the hospital now.

You don't know shit about a street fight -- you little faker. Well this woman. She just showed up. I love it. I'm bleeding everywhere. Thank God for her.

You shit fuck.

They're gonna take my phone, ok! You fucking but!

Go fuck yourself.

You would never bail me outta jail. You're a little bitch. Miller, Hem, Sal -- they have no faith in you. They'll punch you in your bigass nose. I will never support you, man. Ever. 'Cause you'll never support me. So wanna box? Name the time and place, asshole. Be scared, 'cause I will fuck you up. I will you fuck up.

DALLAS: You are a fool and a nobody.

MIAMI: Yeah. Would love to box you one day. No training. Gonna box the shit outta you. Name it. Let's film it.

DALLAS: We will set this up when you are sober. Go to sleep. You are just embarassing yourself right now.

MIAMI: It must be done. Chris will give us the venue. People will come to see this. I did get into a fight, btw. And my nose is bleeding, but I gave it my all. If I can take that bigass dwerb, I can take you.

DALLAS: You're a skinny wasted drunken bum. A never-was-been. Youre a waste of my time. Alcohol and courage are different things. Youre a mediocre man and a worse than mediocre writer.

MIAMI: Good, good. Get worked up. It will give you energy. Please don't be upset when I fuck you up.

DALLAS: Go to bed

MIAMI: This is why I'm gonna fuck you up. Let's plan this. Let's roil up your boring life. Don't worry, I will use gloves. And for the record, I've done this before. Back then, it was about a woman. Now it's about shutting your goddamn mouth.

DALLAS: Go to sleep faggot

MIAMI: Good, good. Keep trying me. Makes me stronger.

DALLAS: Was texting with chris. We both agree you are the next miami person to die.

MIAMI: Awesome. The truth is -- you've never been a friend to me. All you've done is diss me and my work. So it has come to this: I challenge you to a fist-fight.

Let's see who wins.

Seriously.

You fucking bitch.

DALLAS: Youre a drunk. Drunks have no friends.

MIAMI: Yeah. Drunks also punch people in the face.

DALLAS: Go to sleep bro

MIAMI: Fuck you.

DALLAS: When you read this nonsense later youll call me to apologize

MIAMI: This fool and "a nobody" has bigger balls than you. I don't care anymore. Go fuck yourself. What have you done for me, or anyone, as a friend?? Nothing, absolutely nothing. You have no friends, and that's OK, perhaps. You're a solipsistic bitch. We shall not speak again after this text. I have decided now to disown you as a friend, as I realize it doesn't matter to you anyway, right? Good. Then let it be.