New Rules For Bicycle Touring

1. If you see a female touring cyclist riding alone, you are touring in the wrong place. (If she is traveling with a man you probably are in the wrong place too.)
1.a. Wave her down and ask why she is not keeping a home and tending to children?

2. If you see other fully loaded touring cyclists and you are fully loaded, you have too much gear. Unload to a single water bottle and a sleeping bag and continue.

3. The only places that merit being fully loaded are in countries where there is no population or where the population is too dangerous to approach for one’s needs.

4. Bicycle touring in Europe is a joke. Europe is fucking Disneyland.

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