I’ve never spoken to Gary in millwork and I was advised not to. Gary is a big, long-haired biker who recently had a his Harley repo-ed. He is also a diabetic who does not manage his sugar intake very well. Often you will see Gary standing and staring blankly, totally unresponsive. If you are male it is best not to approach him when he is in this state as any effort to help him will result in him punching you in the face. He assaulted a policeman once and has slugged 3 other employees and 1 customer. But if you are a female he will respond quickly and with a big grin and will accept any assistance. He has a thing for women and will follow after any female employee with his arms open, trying to hug her.

There is an often told story of one of Gary’s most serious diabetic attacks. Gary was helping a long line of customers when he felt it coming on and with it the powerful urge to go to the bathroom. He assisted all the customers but one and as he was helping this final customer his bowels began to give and he abruptly ran across the store towards the bathroom. Just before the bathroom door Gary’s bowels gave way and he stripped off his jeans and underwear right there, leaving a brown trail into the toilet stall. Next he tried to flush his shit-stained jeans and underwear down the toilet and flooded the bathroom. He came out some time later wearing only a shirt, naked from the waist down, his legs smeared with feces. He walked slowly through the store to the front desk and told the manager: “I fucking shit myself. Look at me, I’m covered in shit. I’m going home and you can't fucking stop me.” The manager on duty did not protest. Patrick from electrical volunteered to clean up Gary’s shit. They gave Patrick $50 for it.


  1. I quite enjoy each of the freight team posts, and this one has me laughing aloud as I sit at my job, in a desk, and thankfully, not covered in or reaking of shit.

  2. Soon I will write about Sam and Doug and Nick. I'm not finished yet.

  3. As the revolving door of employment at this place of business rotates, more stories will undoubtedly emerge as well. Literature.


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