New Directions in Poetry, Confidence, and Courage

HI MITCH, NICE TO MEET YOU

I’m better than you in every way
Because I’ll outwork you,
Because I’ll outsweep you,
Because I'll throw more bags of soil and stone and brick,
Because I’m swifter and stronger and last longer,
Because I forklift faster and more accurate,
And because I do not stop,
Not once

Because I’ve made more money in a second than you make in a year
Because money will never impress me anymore.
Because I fuck harder and stronger
And my dick is longer
And you’ve got no style to get a fine girl.

Because I’ve been around the world
And speak the languages and the cultures
And even when I don’t know them I learn them--
I learn everything faster than you, and I don’t forget
Because I don’t watch tv and eat shitty food
And I don’t drink and I don’t smoke
And I do pullups over a door frame
And I ride bicycles and I build bicycles
And I’ve taken them all apart except for the bottom bracket
And I’ll take that apart too
And even a Sturmey Archer 3 speed hub
Because Sheldon Brown told me I could.

Because you think I don’t have a college degree. Well I got one. I got a better one than you got. I got better grades than you got. I can do everything better than you. You wanna fight? Yeah, I know about kimuras. Yeah, I don’t care if you hit me and knock me down. Yeah, blood don’t bother me. I’ll never stay down, Mitch. Got that?

Because finally you’re just fucking lucky to talk to me and shake my fucking hand. You’re just fucking lucky I shook yours. You’re just fucking lucky I wasn’t insulted when you told me you valued my hard work and thanked me and expected I knew who you were. You’re nobody to me. And you don’t know who you just ran into. And it will never matter to you and I never want it to. Fuck off and let me do my sweeping, cocksucker.